yawning, chicken pox, and crying...

what is. things that are contagious for $500!
so the wake and the funeral were not as bad as expected. some people never spoke to one another which was fine and dandy since that meant no inappropriate exchange of words...
it was nice to see my cousins. it was sad that kevin, my brother, didn't remember them. i had a heads up as to what 2 out of the 3 would look like. one graduated with nick a year ahead of me, and the other i ran into on campus a few times at college. we spoke about not talking with one another then... i think it's hard for kids to figure out that it's okay to be friendly with one another eventhough your parent's may not.
i'm hoping my grandma can now keep in touch with them. it would mean a lot to her. it would be really great if we all could, i'm just not sure that is going to happen.
i was doing really well and kept myself from crying for the entire wake. then came the funeral. but seriously, crying is totally contagious. i mean, how can you not cry when your mom, grandma, and aunt are all sitting next to you with tears in their eyes. my heart was breaking for them. for their unresolved issues. that my grandma had to bury her second son in less than a year. the crying was inevitable.
also, my aunt who's husband passed in may showed up. it had to be terribly hard on her. a constant reminder. something still so new. she didn't have a funeral or service for him. just a memorial a month or so later. which was so nice. nick and i have talked about skipping all the sad stuff and trying to make it a happier time...
came home exhausted yesterday and today. last night i passed out at like 9 pm and didn't get up til this morning. today after running a few errands after the service i came home and napped for 3 hours. i am so thankful that i had the day off. i don't think i could have functioned after all of that.
just wanted to say a quick thank you for all your well wishes. sorry for the depressing posts... i promise more upbeat ones in the near future! :)