people pleaser...

yup. i confess. that is me. i have a hard time saying no... and i want to do the greatest good for the greatest number. who said that? kant? philosophy class was quite some time ago!
anywho. back to pleasing people. gosh, did that just sound dirty or what?!
some people may argue me on this point.. because i run my mouth like nothing. oh yes, i talk the talk but i definitely to do not walk the walk! for instance, a waitress might make me mad... shan is chomping at the bit to complain about her to anyone at the table the minute she walks away. but would 99.9% of the time NEVER say a word to her about it. why? because i'm weird. because i'm a people pleaser. because i want everyone to get along. because i would never want to hurt someone's feelings. who knows. and i know plenty of people who will argue me on the getting along part.
i know i shouldn't run my mouth sometimes. but i honestly can't help it. i'm not sure if that is the way that i get my stress release.. to actually feel better about what i see going on around. yup, that is me. the one who wants everyone to get along but can't seem to do that herself. who mutters a negative comment almost any chance she gets. hippocrite? maybe. sarcastic? definitely! but sometimes i just can't help myself. you know, people can be just plain stupid! ;)

so where is this rambling coming from you might ask... from crazy shan. my mind works in the strangest ways. i called my hairdresser today. i almost didn't because i was worried about hurting her feelings but then i thought... i'm not happy. i should speak up. part of her job is to make me happy and she can't do so if i don't tell her... she squeezed me in and told me that i should never hesitate to call. that she would rather know than me be mad or upset and not give her a chance to fix it. true. she hasn't done me wrong in 3 years. why would i all of the sudden question her abilities? {trust issues are a whole other topic...} she also explained that going darker is way harder than going light. {not sure how true but it's her job.. so i believe her!}
also i have had some troubles with people asking me to scrapbook for them. now i have no troubles helping someone with ideas or little things. but to expect me to do a giant project when i know you would never do the same for me, i'm not gonna do it. so i put my foot down. got some slack for it. but you know what? i love this hobby and would never want to lose the passion. the drive to create. i want it to be fun. not a job.
some the moral of shan's gibberish: hmm... to remember that i'm a people {yeah, i know it should be person, but people fit the title so much better} and it's not only about making those around me happy but myself as well. :)