yawning, chicken pox, and crying...

what is. things that are contagious for $500!
so the wake and the funeral were not as bad as expected. some people never spoke to one another which was fine and dandy since that meant no inappropriate exchange of words...
it was nice to see my cousins. it was sad that kevin, my brother, didn't remember them. i had a heads up as to what 2 out of the 3 would look like. one graduated with nick a year ahead of me, and the other i ran into on campus a few times at college. we spoke about not talking with one another then... i think it's hard for kids to figure out that it's okay to be friendly with one another eventhough your parent's may not.
i'm hoping my grandma can now keep in touch with them. it would mean a lot to her. it would be really great if we all could, i'm just not sure that is going to happen.
i was doing really well and kept myself from crying for the entire wake. then came the funeral. but seriously, crying is totally contagious. i mean, how can you not cry when your mom, grandma, and aunt are all sitting next to you with tears in their eyes. my heart was breaking for them. for their unresolved issues. that my grandma had to bury her second son in less than a year. the crying was inevitable.
also, my aunt who's husband passed in may showed up. it had to be terribly hard on her. a constant reminder. something still so new. she didn't have a funeral or service for him. just a memorial a month or so later. which was so nice. nick and i have talked about skipping all the sad stuff and trying to make it a happier time...
came home exhausted yesterday and today. last night i passed out at like 9 pm and didn't get up til this morning. today after running a few errands after the service i came home and napped for 3 hours. i am so thankful that i had the day off. i don't think i could have functioned after all of that.
just wanted to say a quick thank you for all your well wishes. sorry for the depressing posts... i promise more upbeat ones in the near future! :)

what do you say...

to a mom who lost her son that she hadn't talked to in almost 20 years. to sisters who lost her brother that they hadn't talked to in 20 years. to a son who had a falling out with his father and didn't get to say goodbye.
my uncle passed away on friday. unexpected. he had a heart attack and died on the table. sad. don't know what to say. haven't seen him in forever. nick hasn't even met him. my brother doesn't remember him. just sad.
my mom and my grandma and my aunt all seem okay. i mean, he was already kind of dead to them since their falling out ages ago. but i can't believe i have lost two uncles in less than one year. both young. 60 and 61.
had a crazy weekend trying to figure out funeral arrangements. kinda hard to get the scoop when no one talks to one another. everyone is kinda nervous to go to the wake and funeral. not sure how people are going to act....
at least this weekend, i had a lot planned so i couldn't really dwell on the situation, which i totally do a lot. friday was girl's night out with nick's mom's side of the family. was good to go and see everyone. it will now be a monthly thing and will also include birthday celebrations. fun!
yesterday we packed, taped, moved, primed, painted. oy. lots was accomplished.
today nick finished the room. he hates how i paint, so he did it all himself. gotta love that. went to a tastefully simple party at my cousin's. again, nice to visit with family that i don't always get to see.
now i'm here trying to catch up on emails and other random stuff. really want to be creative but my stuff is scattered about the house, who knows. it might be what i need to take my mind off of things...

lots...

to do before the new furniture comes! i'm so excited that it's finally in. we called and set up the earliest date which is next saturday...rock on! totally ready for some serious organization! cannot wait!
have tons to do this weekend tho. well, actually starting now. have to crank out some dt layouts. i know, boohoo for me, right!? ;) have to pack the room. girl's night out is tomorrow evening with nick's mom's side of the family. have to pull everything out of this darn room and paint. also gotta fit working out in there. {which i know is off subject but i'm loving again since i've lost some poundage!} i've convinced nick that i NEED my internet. he just laughs. can't believe that i am the one who is more attached to the computer now! so we will lug my desk into the middle of the room and throw a covering over it.
have the paint and everything ready to go. just gotta figure out those darn curtains. as always, i'm up for suggestions! something funky, fun! would love small vertical colorful stripes. oh ki, why don't you make curtains!
oh and thank you to all the lurkers for posting on my awesome news! it means a lot to know you guys are out there reading this! so thanks. :0)

happy dance.

i'm totally doing it! why, you ask... because i'm getting published. for the first time too! submitted something for scrapbook trends' baby book. now gotta hurry up and mail it in. two days isn't much warning!!
must stop dancing and go back to work!!!

shhh...

you can find a picture of my journal for stacy's class here. loved the idea so much i bought a pad of grid paper. thought it would be perfect for scrapbook ideas. awesome to sketch there since the grids would make them straight! can't wait to decorate that one! :)

i <3

travel insurance. we got our reimbursement for our horrific cruise from the berkley company. i had no idea what to expect. if they had a limit or what... come to find out that their maximum is $500/person. and guess what? yup. nick and i each get $500. the checks came today!! at first i was freaked out because i only saw one check and was way disappointed. then i opened it up and the second one fell out. woohoo! we still came up a $100 or so short but they included what we bought on the boat in our reimbursement. rock on!
so the giant snowstorm that was predicted... never happened. we got about an inch of snow. and can i say, what the heck is up with the neighbors snow-blowing for an inch of snow? seriously. we didn't shovel or snow-blow and the driveway is melted...
house of kobe was yummy last night. nick wanted to go for birthday dinner {for his actual birthday on thursday he wanted rally's!} so we met up with his dad, michelle, and brianna. it was nice. they wanted to mix it up a bit since when we go out to eat with the 'family' there are about 10 of us. very difficult to talk with everyone. so this was good. lots of quality talk time.
we turned in early for the giant snowstorm and i passed out by 8:30. didn't get up til 10 or so this morning. yup, i was tired. i've always been a sleeper. i slept from 7-7 when my parents brought me home from the hospital!
today has just been a lazy day. hanging around until tonight when we head to his mom's for dinner. worked on my creative fun box for stacy julian's big picture class U R2 Cre8ive! definitely not what i expected the class to be but fun none-the-less. also got my cropper hopper vertical paper holders...finally! off to sort and rearrange. gotta get this room emptied by next weekend so we can paint. however, i still don't have the delivery date for the furniture. must remember to ask nick's mom tonight!

fondue. yum.

sorry heather! ;)
today was a good day. work went well, then myself and a few of the girls from work went to a rep dinner. for those of you who may not know... a representative for a certain drug will take us out to dinner at a restaurant - all expenses paid - while we listen to a speaker. and today was cafe fondu! this also means i didn't meet with the trainer! {gasp! more on that later!}
it was nice to go and sit and relax with the coworkers. love them. would call these girlies my friends and totally would keep in touch with them if i ever left this job. so we are listening to this doctor speak on breast cancer. usually these dinners make my eyes glass over and i just stare off into space. but i've been trying to be better. i need to make work related goals/resolutions. i definitely want to better myself and continue to learn as much as possible in the ever changing land of oncology! the speaker was really enthusiastic and knew his stuff. a mover and shaker in the words of an old professor! learned a lot!
dinner was nummers. not as good as gejas. but good nonetheless. love that they serve graham crackers with dessert so you can make smores with your flaming marshmellow!
so the gym. i quit. and i am proud of it. honestly, i have a hard time sticking to something. most people would be in habit mode by now. not me. i'm sick of it. talked to my mom about and she said she was amazed i lasted this long! hmmm. not sure if that was a good thing or a bad one!
i do know that when i find something i like i tend to stick with it. examples: nick, scrapbooking, nursing. all things i love and don't see myself getting sick of!!
gonna start pilates reformer classes. super excited. just have to get it set up. i also am loving my extra free time. 2 hours in a gym is a lot. an hour i can do. got a ton of stuff done around the house yesterday, talked to some peeps on the phone too which kept getting pushed aside. felt good. and it's not like i really quit since i'm still going to the gym. just mixing it up a bit! ;)

crap.

seriously. there is crap everywhere. i hope no one minds me using this word. it is one of nick's uncle's least favorite words ever. he prefers the f-bomb...weird, i know! so if the c-word bothers you...you might not want to read this.
first order of crap: the local football teams. i mean come on. a team that goes almost the whole season undefeated has absolutely no offense and then the second ranked defense in the nfl forgets to show up to the game. ugh. yesterday was crappy football day all around. you would think that one of them would have won their game yesterday. now i'm gonna root for the steelers! just because i think hines ward is a cutie! ;) and i truly do like them the best out of all those left!
second order of crap: work. 99.9 percent of the time i love it. really i do. and today wasn't that much of an exception. it's just that certain people need to fess up and admit their wrongs. this can hold true for life in general. it really irks me when someone can't admit that they did something wrong. i know it isn't easy....but it's always been a giant pet peeve of mine and today it just reared its head! okay. it might not be that bad but it fits the crap theme!
third order of crap: our study. someone remind me why we decided to redo this room. oh yeah, because it has the most crap in it. which makes moving and reorganizing that much more fun...almost. and now nick wants me to go without the computer for at least two days. i think not. we will prime and paint our way around my little area but it's not all coming down. we have way too much crap for that. i vote for shoving both desks into the center of the room and working our way around like a mini track. we can pretend we are speed skating with paint for the olympics. you know they are almost here. the olympics. opening ceremony on my birthday. sounds like aperfect evening in!
fourth order of crap: joann's shipping. what the heck is that all about? it takes ages to get anything. i ordered cropper hopper vertical storage to reorganize the cardstock about 2 weeks ago and still nothing. i really hope it arrives soon. this vertical storage so ain't happening in the new space.
alright. enough gibberish. off to reorganize and purge some more of this crap! :o)

i've been tagged!

so i was tagged by stacey. here we go!

4jobs I've had in my life {most recent first}
1. nurse in an oncology hematology office.
2. nurse on the medical surgical floor at a local hospital.
3. nurse extern on the rehab floor of same hospital.
4. receptionist for local drywall company.
i can't believe those are all of my jobs...ever!

4 movies you would watch over and over.
1. shawshank redemption.
2. how to lose a guy in ten days.
3. princess bride.
4. ???

4 places you have lived
1. east chicago, indiana.
2. crown point, indiana.
3. st. john, indiana.
4. yet to be determined...

4 TV shows you love to watch
1. real world/road rules challenge
2. scrubs
3. grey's anatomy
4. er
there are quite a few more. thank goodness for tivo or i would never see them!

Places you have been on vacation
1. carribean cruise: grand cayman, honduras, belize, costa maya.
2. hawaii: maui and kauai.
3. orlando, florida.
4. las vegas, nevada.

4 websites you visit daily
1. www.yahoo.com {gotta check that email}
2. knk
3. 2 peas
4. various blogs

4 favorite foods
1. anything mexican
2. pickles
3. potato chips
4. frozen yogurt

4 places I'd rather be right now
1. on a beach, any beach
2. on vacation, any vacation
3. sleeping
4. i kinda like it here, it means i am not at work!

4 bloggers I am tagging
everyone who reads this...
meredith
tracy
kelly
heather
jill

okay, you don't have to, but it's a nice get to know ya thing!

stealth raises...

so our boss never reminds us when we are getting a raise. i have to be reminded by those people who check their pay stubs every payday! {i should definitely pay more attention there...} today after hearing the rumblings, i came home and checked the stub and sure enough, there it was...my raise! gotta love that. i was shocked by the amount, since we have had some rough times with the new medicare laws. ugh, i won't even start... and totally thought last year's amount would have been a benchmark or something. but it wasn't. :)
i am so very lucky to have a job i love, coworkers i can tolerate {most i love!}, normal human being hours, and a totally respectable salary. awesome.
this paycheck also starts the new rule of shan depositing every other check into the savings. now that i have most of our debt paid off, i want to start saving. then turn to investing. last year, i stayed completely focused and tackled the debt that i had on my list. this year, i have a few random bills {can you say mandatory shopping spree in the cayman islands...} on the list but it is no where near last year's amounts.
i've also dropped my only monthly scrapbooking kit. scrapmuse. i just didn't like them making their own papers... trying to save money where i can and i wasn't using those kits.
so the person who doesn't like the word budget...is trying to be way more conscious about her spendings...

oh and for the gym. the main guy finally called nick. so i caved and trained on tuesday. i plan on missing next tuesday for a free dinner at a fondue place {gotta love drug reps!} and then there are only 4 more sessions left. so i just may stick it out.

i'm calling it off...

with my trainer. well, should i say nick's trainer. i've thought long and hard and i just can't keep doing this. and at first, i felt like i was quitting. that i was giving up. but i'm not. because i still plan on exercising. i'm going to do eliptical and focus on some target areas. this also gives me the opportunity to check out their pilates classes. i did the winsor pilates tapes a while back and they rocked. i think it would be neat to do it one on one and actually use the machines. although it does look kinda scary. so i'm not giving up i'm just changing my focus!
but i'm comfortable going to omni alone now. i can do shopping alone but when it's some place sorta social that i've never been before...it scares the buggers out of me.
i have to admit that i am nervous to talk to our trainer about it. you see, we {fine, nick} tried to call the main guy and talk with him about our displeasure. and yes, i can say our because nick suggested that i branch off a while back... and the guy has never called us back. we left the message on friday. so i'm a little freaked out. i mean why should i care. i've asked the trainer multiple times why my weights are so high and he told me i had to build it before toning it??!! or he'd tell me to up my cardio to 45 minutes. i'm sorry but i am not going to spend 2 hours an evening in the gym.
i also talked to a friend who used the same program that i did but had a different trainer. she lifted like no more than 8 pounds and she-ra over here is doing way more than that. she also explained her routine. she was there an hour at a time. now i understand that our main goal was to bulk up nick. but don't tell us that we can go with the same trainer and have different focus areas and then don't allow it. sigh.
nick is doing awesome. so far 12 pounds gained. he'll kill me for writing this but it'll make ya laugh. so he goes to work one day in his oh so sexy boxer briefs, which he actually fills out now! and goes to sit in his chair and RRRRRIIIIIIPPPP. boy totally ripped the elastic band and the cloth. had to go to the bathroom and commando it all day long. in semi-transparent scrubs! he said he had to be the first person in history to be excited that they ripped their underwear!

newlyweds.

i was addicted to this show on mtv. nick and jessica were seriously one of the cutest couples ever. totally bummed about their divorce. but that is just me and my infatuation of hollywood couples. the newlywed house is for sale! so sad.
just thought it was kinda cool to check out the house.

i'm a wizard.

yup, that is me. and my wand. on new year's eve! fine, i lied. it's a firework. but doesn't it look like i have a wand?? so now i have pictures of nick and i playing with fireworks looking like wizards. so amazed at my little camera. she rocks. nick and i have always talked about getting a smaller sized one, but this one takes amazing pictures. love it. i was quite nervous holding this little firework but am so glad i did it now that i have these super fun pictures and still have all ten fingers! :P

and this is the one we snapped of nicholas. awesome.

and this is jason. doesn't his look like a patronus. gosh, i'm a dweeb. sorry if you have never read harry potter. you so totally should. best series ever!

tgif.

ack. what a week. i am soo glad it is friday and that i have no major plans this weekend!!!
lesse...
monday was a holiday for both nick and myself. so we just hung around the house. we did watch quite possibly the worst movie ever...brother's grimm. horrible. but we are totally digging the netflix! hope to watch some good movies this weekend. on the list are madagascar, march of the penguins, and the island... oh, and if you watch any good movies or have any that you would stay away from feel free to enlighten me!
tuesday was the date with the trainer. i'm beyond frustrated with our work out program. nick is doing wonderfully. up to a 12 pound weight gain. me. see thursday. talked to the trainer, and he said that they would modify our programs to be different after 3 months. what?! i have to wait 6 more weeks. i'm eating healthier, drinking more water, doing my cardio. why am i not losing it??? what the heck!
wednesday i think i gave myself a concussion. klutz of the year i swear. bent down to get a drug out of the bottom drawer of the fridge, came up, and knocked the stars out of my head. had a serious knot and an instant headache. sucked. popped ibuprofin all day at work with no relief. and wednesdays are our league volleyball nights. my loving husband drags me away from my 2 hour nap {yes, i know i'm not supposed to sleep if i think i have a concussion but i was tired and i'm a nurse. we rarely follow any medical advice!} to go and play. during the 3rd game i couldn't decide which ball to hit. you see, i was seeing triples. oy. sat out the next 3 matches.
thursday we skip the gym and head to ayce crab legs with his family. 9 of us together for dinner. good times. 3 of the boys got the crabs. i think they finished off 10 pounds or so! me, i could barely eat. here's why...i didn't fit in any of my clothes. stepped on the friggin scale. 3 pounds net gain. sucks. my normally comfy jeans, not so much and my biceps are ready to bounce out of my shirt. can you say frustrated....
today. friday. end of the week. hurray! work had been nutso all week. it was only a 4 day week with the holiday, so we were busier than usual and we were down 2 staff members. and it looks to be that way for a while. i hope they are both okay and totally understand. but it sucked. nick is stuck at work and i decided to come home instead of going to the gym. oh yeah, he did call the main trainer dude, eric, and left him a few messages. i want his answer as to what i'm doing wrong and why i'm doing the exact same thing is my weight gaining husband. i should not be squatting or lifting only 15 pounds less than him. i though toning was less weights more reps. ah, but what do i know.
so now i'm home. in my jammies. not sure if i want to even meet nick and the gym later. i will only do cardio if i do go tho! just want to relax, scrap, watch tv or some movies...
k. enough whining. sorry! promise positive post soon! :)

what the tag says...

for all of you who are curious!

• reorganize room when furniture arrives and keep it that way!
• step outside of my comfort zone {tried something funky fun for the title...out of my zone but i like it}
• organize cards by month and make ahead of time using scraps {this one sorta inspired the lo because i only used scraps}
• buy less use more.
• scrap 150 pages
• organize pictuers and store on cds
• have fun and enoy myself.
  

scrap goals 2006.

hmmm. gonna have to learn how to do that black border. suggestions anyone?!
journaling hidden on tag behind photo. products used: ki pp and ribbons, hs ghost letters traced, bazzill, doodlebug and american craft stickers, and other misc. ribbons.

resolutions 2006

yippee. the first page in the new year. feels good to scrap! i hope you can read them... products: ki pp and stickers, scenic route chipboard letters, misc. ribbons, bazzill, sharpie. ;)

a quote to start the new year...

i am aware that i am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that i am so much more than what they see. ~Dougas Pagles

i think this might be my new motto for the year. it's twofold.

1. i need to focus less on what other people think of me. why should their opinions matter if i am happy with who i am?
2. i also need to be less judgemental of others and set such high expections for them. i need to accept people for who they are. not who i want them to be.

so i have a list of resolutions/goals floating around in my head. i hope to get them all out on paper today! i loved that i could look back on last year's. i might also want to do a hopes and dreams type thingie and see how that turns out. we shall see.
i've been quite busy for someone who didn't have to work today. feels good tho! got my scraproom sorta situated. trying to anticipate that new furniture. yes, one of my goals is to not procrastinate! also compiled a budget. hate the word budget with a passion. i vow to not have one. i just want to save a set amount of money this year. the rest can be alloted however the heck we want! :)
stay tuned. i hope to have those layouts up soon!