5.17.2006

self esteem...

not one of my strong suits. i wish i was more confident, had less insecurities. i mean, i know everyone has them. well, at least i hope everyone has them. it would make me feel a bit more normal. ;)
i don't think i was always this way. kinda one of those things that sneaks up on ya. you endure four years of high school. four years of competitive dancing/color guard. four years of lots of pressure on looks and figures. four years of being told that a size six is fat.
now i've been away from that far more than the years i was in it and for some silly reason, some of these thoughts, these silly ideals or standards remain with me. i know they are wrong and i have a husband who tells me i'm beautiful on a regular basis... but i still doubt it. and it's sad.
i think it's sheer craziness that i have a hard time accepting it considering i know how bizarre i am for believing it. i need to relearn what was engrained into my brain.
it could also be why i'm enamored with the dove campaign for real beauty.
i mean, how great is this?! i love that they are embracing our differences. isn't boring to have everyone be 5'7" 125 pounds with blonde hair and blue eyes. i also think it's great to focus on inner beauty. i'm a huge fan of that. seriously, i know people who others think are drop dead gorgeous, but they are the meanist, nastiest person ever. so not pretty to me. but take someone who doesn't fit into the standard beauty category but is the kindest, most generous person. that's beautiful!
i totally need to buy some dove products to try and get one of their shirts. or even just donate.
read about this book on cathy z's blog. i think i need it. gonna call borders tomorrow before i leave work and see if they have it in.
gonna try to be more brave. go out there and try something and try not to be afraid of failure. to know it's okay to not succeed. that not succeeding doesn't equal failure. but opens us to growth and new opportunities and gives us much needed life experiences.

14 comments:

Heather said...

What are you talking about?!?! I LOVE being 5'7" and 125 pounds! :P Just kiddin' you are SO not alone and the next time you wonder if you are, eat a bowl of pudding and think of me, because that is what I think of when I eat pudding. In particular, my pudding pack that is now my tummy and rear cheeks..... but alas, we are beautimous women right?!?! Let me know what you think about the book!

Anonymous said...

Shan, your thoughts today echo my own. You ARE beautiful inside and out!
Carmen

Anonymous said...

How did you get into my head? You're all beautiful, inside and out.
Carrie

TracyDacy said...

Shannon, you are sooooo not alone. One reason that I so seldom blog is because I would start an entry and realize that it's just another pity party and I don't want people to know just how much self love and confidence I lack. Hang on in there!

Stacey said...

There are thousands of us out there with you...thinking the same thing =).

Susan said...

Well let me just say that is totally not the impression I got when we met...you come across as someone who really has it all together. Hold you head high and show the world what you got!

Kache said...

I'm with Susan...when we met you were very outgoing and gregarious...and sarcastic which is the most important thing in my opinion ;)

And of course you're not alone with those thoughts...

KJ said...

Oh, geesh, I remember in high school when I was a size 6 and thought I was fat! What I wouldn't do to be like that now! I love that Dove campaign! Real women...love it. I want a review on that book, 'k? And sing with me..."you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful it's true..." :)

psucolleen said...

Shannon - I saw nothing but an amazingly beautiful person when I met you. And when we spoke on the phone before I met you, I had already formed that picture. And even before that when we chatted on line I thought the same thing.

And if you re-read your blog entries from the past year, I'm confident that you will see your beauty as well. Listen to Nick... he knows what he's talking about. ;)

And I love the Dove campaign. They're getting nothing but an amazing response from it. Their ad during the SuperBowl was phenomenal. LOVE that they did it. Wish someone had done it 30 years ago.

What a great blog entry... :)

Tracey said...

Shannon you are a beautiful person inside and out and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

Breana said...

i don't know how you got in my head either. i doubt myself daily and it sucks. reed gets mad b/c sometimes i doubt his feelings for me, so I try not it but it sucks. i'm going to eat some pudding! ;)

Amy said...

Shannon- as I sit here eating my pudding!!LOL- you're killin' me here! Can I just tell you I never would have thought you were an insecure person!?! I've always had the impression that you had it ALL together! Other than the fantastic photos of you (looking pretty fantastic and confident mind you!) your obvious intelligence and fun sense of humor had me fooled!!

I also must tell you I think I was born a size 10 and haven't seen it since....'nough said!...

So- keep doin' what you're doin'- but take a good look and try to see what we see! and- TFS again!

Jaime said...

I'm with Heather-I love being 5'7" and 125 pounds, why wouldn't anyone just love that?

I think we all have moments when we reflect upon ourselves and feel like we don't measure up.

Let me know what you think of that book!

Brandy said...

The Dove Campaign is awesome, and I can relate to Heather with the tum tum though her waist has turned into itty bittyness. You're the bomb, put the magazines down!