sigh.

so much has happened since last post. only a week.
wasn't gonna share. but not sure i can keep it in. i mean, i did start this to get everything out there. and yeah, it's public so it's censored a bit... but what they heck.

saturday morning: got a phone call that my coworkers husband was killed on the job. so, so shocking. just saw him friday. joked with him. laughed. they were only married a few months - are older, she has children from previous relationships... were set to close on a house this past wednesday. has to be out of her place by this weekend. her son is in iraq. a marine. had to figure out how to get him home. worried about her wanting to help but feeling like i'm coming down with a cold. has had sooo much crap in her life it just doesn't seem fair.
nick's dad and girlfriend had planned on coming over... thought it might be good for a distraction, i was nearly in tears for the first half of the day. passed out during the second bourne movie! had lots of mojitos. yummy. hmmm. maybe that didn't help. cold + liquor = sleepy shan.

sunday: cold is here. so sucks. no energy. no voice. can't help coworker. can't help nick take care of puppy.

monday: call off. first time in ages. feel horrible. but i cannot subject my patients to the walking mess that would have been shannon. could have killed someone.

tuesday: a bit better, but no voice. that does me nothing. i talk to people all day. home again. sucked into a project runway marathon on bravo. when the heck are they bringing that show back??

wednesday: have to go to work. have to. going out of my mind at home. wish i had the energy to be productive while i was home. well, i guess i did. tuesday i aleene's my purple onion stamps! ;D
work kicked my ass. not only did i have an extremely sexy voice {note the written sarcasm} i had to deal with my coworkers, doctors, and patients making fun of me! oh well, if i can make someone laugh, why the heck not? and talking to people on the phone. hilarious.
super, super tired. exhausted by 2ish. had to suck it up and go to two wakes. no way i could miss the one for my coworker's hubby. that is just shitty. no matter how i felt. it was how i was raised. what i believe. i'm there to support her. show my respect. my cold is irrelevant. it's not that long. but after being there and crying, i went to another. sigh. a patient. my first patient wake in the four years i have worked here. not sure what it was about this one. just HAD to go. she made me laugh... telling me about her wind blowing off in the parking lot of the grocery store and how she couldn't chase after it because it reminded her of a tumbleweed so she just sat there laughing... maybe it was the family. they were always with her. supporting her. encouraging her. so maybe i went for them. maybe i don't go to more because my patient's families don't come with them. i would just be a face in the crowd. they wouldn't know who i was... this seemed different. so the right thing to do. more tears. more hugs. was good. my sinuses didn't agree. but as a person, i knew that is what i needed to do... even if it was for me and not necessarily for them.

today: back to work. still crap for a voice. nice. told some of my patients i had to yell at some from the day before. they better watch out. ha! way more worn down than yesterday.
spoke to my mom, for the first time in ages, on the way home from work. found out grandma isn't feeling well... still. was in the hospital not too long ago for walking pneumonia. hasn't fully recovered. then had some intestinal issues. fast foward to a phone call from my mom about an hour later... grandma called 911 last night. took her to the er. she has since been admitted.

tonight: hoping to curl up on the couch {maybe snuggle with nick while trying not to contaminate him} and watch the bears tonight...

this weekend: i'm staring friday as the weekend... more work. short day i hope. won't be stopping by the hospital to see grandma. all she needs would be to catch whatever crap i have... love her too much for that. friday evening. nada. sleep, veg, relax. sounds perfect.
saturday: puppy to the vet. yay! more shots... tentative get together at my aunt and uncle's. in limbo tho with grandma being unwell.
sunday: nothing?
monday: dinner with nick's fam. have to figure out details of them building our new deck in the near future...
nick mentioned trying to get to michigan with his family... but with me not feeling well and puppy not sure that's a good combo.

too much.
haven't been to yoga or pilates in about a month. i lie. we might have gotten in one pilates class. hoping that fall brings a less crazy time. this summer has been insane.

so there you go. my week of crap. maybe that's what i should have titled this post. shan's crap week. crossing my fingers it gets better. and sorry if it sounds a bit whiney. so unintentional. but i guess it's my blog so i can do what i want. ;oP

hmmm. and the fiesty shan pokes her ugly head... must be feeling better already. :o)