SO hard.

put guinness to sleep today. i NEVER thought, hoped, wished it would come to this. was hoping for a lifelong buddy when we got him last year. a forever family member.

i didn't go. i'm too much of a wimp. nick is there now. i'm in cleaning, cooking mode. anything to keep myself occupied. bless my husband for having the strength. he amazes me.

took him to the k9u yesterday. didn't get the best of news. this guy was the first one that actually confronted him and got him to be growly and mean. it lasted pretty much the whole time. he was worried about guinness hanging out in freak out mode for so long. told us he only really trusted him with us {since while i was crying, mr. guinnea came over to me and put his head on my lap}, but no one else. told us we could more than likely never leave him along with children. that he was just going to get worse the older her got and more than likely one day just snap. that we could try training but more than likely he was just wired wrong. didn't want to get our hopes up, spend tons of money, and just be where we are now.
so after a distraught ride home we came to the super, super hard decision to put him down. nick wanted to do it asap. thought it would be easier. not sit here and second guess ourselves. sooo hard. wish there was another way. we could have found some way to help him. cannot imagine him back at the pound, labeled as mr. aggressive and live in a kennell for who knows how long before they euthanise him.
hope we did the right thing. i mean, i know we did. but you know. it's just sooo sad. sooo hard.

happier baby updates soon. just doesn't seem fair now to try to be happy about other stuff when i'm missing my pup....